Team FAITH

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

For the second year, we are organizing Team FAITH to walk in the March for Babies. This year's event is on Saturday, April 18th at Bridge Street. I think most people are familiar with the March of Dimes and the innovations and research they have helped fund for babies and families. Last year was our first year and we were the second highest raising family team in this area!

Let me back up and tell you how we got started with this event. Last year at this time, I was struggling - it had been 4 months since Olivia's death. I was in a place where I wanted to believe that I had "handled" the grief. In all honesty, I don't know if that will ever really happen. I will always be the mother of 3 daughters, one of which who is in Heaven watching over us. Anyway, it had really started to bother me that we had reached a point when I felt that everyone else had moved on from the event - gone on with their lives - and here I was still lost in the grief and loss of my baby girl. Because she was stillborn, no one really had an earthly relationship with her. I was afraid to say her name - it was just too raw. Not to mention I felt I was having to use too much precious energy to overcome the awkward situations with people who just didn't know what to do to help or say. Suddenly, I stumbled on this event. Something set up in my heart that night - I had to do this with my family for Olivia. It was my personal tribute to her - to outwardly do something to reaffirm that she did exist, she was our child, the loss was just as great. After a week or so, I gathered the courage to email a few friends. The simple act of telling those I am closest to that we were doing this for Olivia was somehow liberating. Just pressing "send" on an email with the subject line "Olivia" gave me some satisfaction that I was doing small steps to reaffirm her meaning in my life and that I wasn't going to just lock away that event forever.

Then it happened - the doors opened, the emails started pouring in. I was absolutely amazed! So many joined our team to commemorate people and situations in their own lives or the lives of their family and friends. But many said they were joining just to support us and remember Olivia. It was like I had given those closest to me permission to talk about her and the effect this had on their lives. Every day, more and more joined the team. People from our schools, friends, family, even an entire group from Abby's preschool!

The day of the march was bittersweet. I was absolutely overwhelmed at the outpouring of love and support and simply hearing people say my sweet baby's name. I remember Amy George once posting about a Havoc fundraising event for the Melissa George Fund. She reflected how awesome it was to see and feel the support, but overwhelming to realize that her daughter had to die for this event to happen. I had that same moment. I remember looking around at the host of friends and it was almost more than I could take to realize that I wouldn't need this outpouring of support if my baby hadn't died, if we hadn't been the subject of a tragedy. About that time a huge gust of wind came through. I had painstakingly brought a huge bunch of pink balloons for the kids to play with that day. In one gust, the entire bunch came untied and floated up to the sky. For some reason, this broke my heart. And then it happened - as if they were meant to be there, the entire bunch wrapped themselves around a flagpole and just stopped. As I stood there looking up, my sweet Daddy came and put his arm around me and said, "Olivia must have needed those!" We continued on the march, and as we returned, there were the balloons right where we left them. As we left, Abby looked up and said, "Those are for you sissy. Love you!"

Little did I know, but I was actually a few weeks pregnant last year at the march with the child I never thought I would be brave enough to hope for. Here we are, one year later, and I am looking forward to ordering Ellie Kate a t-shirt size XXS to "march" for her big sister that she never knew. She also benefited from this cause as she spent those precious 3 days in the NICU. God is good. His plans are all-knowing. His ways are simple, perfect and always surrounded in love and peace.

If you are not affiliated with another team, we would love for you to join us! Just click on the banner on the side of the blog. We will be ordering more shirts, and we would love for you to join us!

Faith for all babies to come!