I can't help but sit around these days and sigh. You know - that content sigh that just comes out when you don't even realize it? I know we've been on an emotional roller coaster with the loss of Stewart's dad, but I am enjoying looking around and counting my blessings. Abby told me tonight that we needed to just put a bow on Ellie Kate's head because she was our greatest Christmas present ever. I certainly couldn't argue with her!! She then proceeded to tell me that Christmas was so special because it was Baby Jesus' birthday and we should be so thankful for our family. As she listed off all the members she was thankful for and right at the end, she said, "And don't forget the most special of all - Olivia, my special angel!" Talk about a tear jerker! As much as Ellie Kate has brought a peace to our family, it doesn't erase the fact that we are the parents of three little girls even though we only have two with us to share. Please don't misunderstand - Ellie Kate's safe arrival in this world is almost more than I dared ask for and certainly more than I could have ever dreamed. But even in those moments of content sighs, there is still a deep feeling that someone is missing. It gets easier every day to trust that our lives have taken this path for a reason much higher that we could ever understand, but that feeling is still there - way down deep. I'm sure it will always be...........
For today, I will remember that we have lost, but I can't wait to look into the eyes of my two special blessings in the light of the Christmas tree in the morning and just sigh. There will probably be a few tears shed - both tears of what we miss this year, but mostly thankful tears for what we have. I hope each of you can count your blessings and be thankful during this blessed time of year!
BTW - on a lighter note - check out these sneak peeks! Christy Key from Simplicty by Christy was at our house last week for Ellie Kate's newborn session. She has taken Abby's pictures for several years. She can capture expressions from her that no one else can! She has posted a few sneak peeks from the session on her blog. I have a feeling I'm going to need a second job to pay for all the pictures I'm going to want - how do you choose?? Check out her website and blog - there's a link on the side of my page. Here is a link to the post with our sneak peeks -