Go ahead, say it, "HUH?"
I've been given a brick - to the head. It's called pneumonia :( I can honestly say I've probably NEVER been this zapped in my life!
Why my "brick"?? I think sometimes the good Lord has to hit us in the head to get our attention. I guess I was so thick-headed, He needed a brick!
Bottom-line - Mommy hasn't taken care of herself and what was just an upper respiratory bug the first week of December has now led to full-out, bed-rest or else be admitted to the hospital - pneumonia. I'm STILL hard headed! I tried all weekend to convince myself and those around me that I would be FINE tomorrow! After some STRONG words from my loving husband and parents, I sadly had to admit defeat.
Why do I think that to be a good Mommy/wife/employee/Child of God I must run like a hamster ALL the time to take care of all others and ignore myself? Why do I feel eternally guilty and like I'm neglecting someone else if I give 10 minutes to myself?? This is something I NEED God's help with......it is helping NO ONE for me to be in the bed right now! I've GOT to find a balance!
I want simple. I want peaceful. I want happy smiles with no fear of what's to come. I want these things, but I think I've been working triple time to MAKE it happen instead of trusting that God can do it just fine without me! (Better - in fact!)
Lord, please help me take this brick and remember it. Help me just do what I need to do and let you do the rest. Help me realize that I can't be a good Mommy/wife/Child of God, etc, etc, by total sacrifice. Above all, please grant my heart and my family a simple peace with no fear of what's to come or what has been. That peace is what I'm running around trying to create.....help me stop and LET YOU!
Prayers appreciated :)
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