Well, we survived my first week back at work - I think! It was a TOUGH week!! New routines, I had sinus crud and not much sleep, but we are all still alive and kicking and realizing that another week starts tomorrow! Abby is doing an awesome job getting herself ready in the mornings! Stewart has promised her a Chucky Cheese trip if she keeps it up! She came in one morning all dressed and said, "Look, I"m even acting perky!" Ellie Kate is still doing great. She still has bouts with her reflux, but it's better. She's in a funky sleep pattern right now that's leaving me with only 4-5 hours of sleep a night, but hopefully she'll start stretching that out a little VERY soon! Stewart's mom and a lady from our church are watching her, so that is a huge relief!
Thanks to Mimi (my Mom)! She knew we had a tough week and she had a slumber party with Abby Friday night, and EK last night. It was great to only have one girl at a time and have some one-on -one time! We also had a family get together with my grandmother, aunt/uncle, and cousins last night. The kids had SO much fun! We have another cousin on the way soon - there is still some debate over a name, but I'll let you know :)
Right now my biggest struggle is within. I think the last two years of ups and lots of downs has gotten my defenses down. Add that to crazy postpartum hormones, and I've got a fight on my hands! The doctor said it's postpartum depression. Maybe so - but I'm pretty sure the Devil has jumped in with both feet as well!! I know the Lord is not the author of confusion and the Devil would like nothing better than for me to live in fear - fear that the unexpected will happen. Fear that something will happen to one of us or the girls. I know we all have that to some degree, but unfortunately our family has experienced the reality of that! What I need to concentrate on is that we have also experienced the comfort that only the Lord can bring during those times, and trust that HE will take us through whatever may come. All of this makes perfect sense as I sit here typing, but I have to find a way to trust that in my heart. Needless to say, this daily struggle is more exhausting than getting everyone to work/school, dinner, etc. Put it all together and I've got my hands full! My greatest desire right now is to simply find a way to lay down this struggle so I can enjoy this wonderful life the Lord has given me. I know He will help me in His time. I guess that's why patience is a virtue. :)
No time for new pictures this week - maybe next week will be a little less crazy!
Some friends of ours welcomed their first little girl this week - Maleah Brooke! She was born 6 weeks early and is in the NICU, but she is making great progress. She is already off the ventilator and they are going to start feeding her tomorrow. Please pray for her and her mommy and daddy - Deanna and John. This is their first, so you can imagine what this new adventure is like!
Hoping and praying for a better week........
Park City Utah
2 years ago
4 comments:
Stephanie,
I know exactly what you are going through. When you experience the kind of loss that you and I have, the Devil tries to get a foothold and make us fearful. I want to share a verse that a friend shared with me once when I was experiencing fear.
"I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day." 2 Timothy 1:12
That verse gives me so much peace to know that I can entrust those I love - my kids, my husband, etc - to Him. I hope this verse can also give you peace.
I'll be praying for you!
Amy
Stephanie,
Hi there, I am a new blog reader of yours. I hope that you do not mind me leaving a comment. Please know that we will keep your family in our thoughts and prayers. The girls are precious. Please know that I am praying for you and hoping that you find strength to get through the fear....;
New to your blog as well, found it through Amys. Your girls are precious. I hope you have a better week. It so hard to always keep the faith during these times but I too will pray that God will just give you the srength and courage to make it through these times, just hold on to him!
~Jennifer
Stephanie,
I remember that first week back after Kennedy and Case were born. That week, and the following weeks, was so hard. I hope that this week is better. I am so happy that Pam is able to watch Ellie Kate. You can rest assured that EK is in good hands all day, from yours to Pam's, and always in God's. I think about you often, and what you and Stewart have had to bear. I can't imagine the pain, but I pray that God will lighten your load. I know you will never completely heal, but you have a promise to see your sweet angel again. Just hold on, and trust in God like you have for so long. I love you very much. I wish I could carry some of your burden. Please let me know if you need anything. I'm also awake all hours of the night, so if you ever need to talk, feel free to call.
By the way, that Devil character shows up over at my house pretty often too. I try to tell him to go away, but sometimes it's hard. :)
Love, April
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