Deliverance

Deliverance was the topic of a sermon I had the pleasure of hearing just the other night. As I have thought about it over the last few days, I have come to more and more understanding about what I thought I knew about deliverance.

Our family has been delivered - delivered from a cruel world of sin, full of evil people, by claiming Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. That is the most crucial deliverance.

The next deliverance was God's mercy and compassion as He brought us through the death of our sweet Olivia and blessed us with our rainbow - Ellie Kate.

To me, that was deliverance. You struggle with a trial and the Lord graciously brings deliverance to you when He sees the time is right for His purpose. I'm coming to realize that deliverance is not a once and for all event. Just because he delivered us from a world of sin doesn't mean we don't still have to resist against those things daily. Just because he delivered us from the sorrow surrounding Olivia's death and blessed us with another healthy child doesn't mean we won't always have to depend on His comfort to shelter us when the fears start sneaking in again.

Over the last month both of the girls have struggled with sickness. It's been one after the other. Ellie Kate had tubes put in her ears after Christmas. All went well, but she still struggles with a constant congestion and lovely "Darth Vador" sounding chugginess. Abby had surgery for her second set of tubes and adenoids out in October. We hoped that was the end of her semi-sick - super snotty days. Not so fast - we've had a two week pattern of spiking super high fevers, sore throats, constant congestion, etc. since Christmas. They've both been on multiple rounds of antibiotics, been to all of their specialists, etc. All the doctors say, "Mom - it's to be expected. It's a BAD winter!" None of it has been major - just enough to make everyone not feel well and be extremely ill!!

Most Mom's would just continue to Lysol and hope for Spring. I wish I were that simple! I guess my fears of further loss are just lurking, waiting on any opportunity to overwhelm me again. I couldn't help it - this week when Abby woke up AGAIN with fever and other issues, I ran straight to the doctor and all but demanded a full body scan, blood screen whatever it would take to find what was really wrong. You moms know where I was going - surely there was something terrible lurking in her beautiful little body that was causing her to not be able to fight these germs off. Poor Dr. Laue - I know he's used to crazy moms, but he really had his hands full. He pulled up every scan, blood result, anything he could find and examined her two or three different times just to make me feel better, I think! We even made an extra trip to the ENT to make sure. (I'm pretty sure Dr. Laue called ahead and gave Dr. Castillo the heads up :)) Bottom line - she does have a long history of sinus issues, but all seems fine, and it really does seem to be just a "high viral load" in our surroundings right now.

Yesterday I was quickly browsing the blogs I keep up with and clicked on this family's blog. The Macs are a sweet little family who lost their 11 month old last year to a highly aggressive cancer they had know idea she was carrying until tests after she couldn't get over a recurrent ear infection. It was a year ago this month. Since then, the Lord has blessed them with a healthy baby boy, but they are obviously struggling with the memories of last year. I couldn't help but hurt for them. I also couldn't help but question things I cannot control nor predict.

Deliverance - I'm so glad it's not a once and for all event. I'm so glad it is always there to drag us back out, dust us off, and kick us back into action again. Please pray for the Macs - for comfort, peace and deliverance that they may honor their little girl's memory but also enjoy their new baby boy.